We human beings are strange creatures. We seem to be hardwired to be compelled to slow down and look at conflict and carnage.
Remember in high school when a fight would break out how the kids would stand back and start cheering rather than try to break it up?
Or can you tell me why a car wreck on the highway will cause a traffic jam in the other direction as well while each car passing slows down enough to get the best look possible at the carnage?
When Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump have a silly ongoing argument it makes the national news for days.
Just Like Everyone Else
I guess I’m just like everyone else in that department.
I must be as morbidly entertained by a brouhaha as the next person because when a blogging friend of mine mentioned this one to me in a conversation we had over the weekend I put it on my list of things to check out when I got a chance.
This morning I got a chance to take a peek.
The Dustup
Apparently two guys I consider friends of SuccessCREEations, Blog Bloke and Darren Rowse, had a bit of a tiff in the comments section of the post More Pillars of Exceptional Blogs.
Read down through the comments of that post. I felt like I should have been munching on some popcorn while I read that thread.
Now to be clear I’ll reiterate that I consider both of these guys friends of our blog here. I’ve had email exchanges with each of them. Very pleasant, both. So I am not choosing sides here. Got that?
Besides, to me the whole thing seems to boil down to a simple difference of perspective. Often that’s the case in conflict, isn’t it?
Bloke’s issue is basically, “You didn’t link to me.” And Darren’s point is, “I’m not a big fan of your contrarian approach.”
Is either position worth arguing about? I guess that depends.
Why is Conflict so Compelling?
But my question is why do we so often find ourselves entertained by someone else’s conflict?
I mean that question is right up there with the great slap-stick comedy question. Why is watching someone slipping and falling on ice or otherwise getting hurt funny?
I have a theory about it. It goes something like this.
We are so relieved that it is someone else and not us in that circumstance that we are compelled to watch. And in the case of slap-stick comedy we express that relief with laughter.
What do you think?
Is that anywhere close to the why? Or is there another reason we are compelled to watch?
Chris – I am just nosy – I get it from my mom. Don’t worry, she’ll tell you the same if you ask her.
But, I am gonna commit your theory to memory – it sounds way more noble than mine.
Sorry it took so long for me to comment. I had to go read the ruckus over at ProBlogger
I thought nosy implied we knew a little something about the people involved and wanted to know more.
If so, that really doesn’t get at the why behind our compulsion to gawk at others in conflict or carnage, does it?
Not for me – nosy is a rude, compulsive habit that I try to break.
I don’t think it is hardwired. After some serious change, I can tolerate much less of the voyeurism than others I know (and probably more than some others).
I think that some folks are just addicted to the visual stimulation. I think we are very over stimulated as a society – so much so we have become numb and it takes bigger to catch our unimaginative attention.
I believe you’re spot on, Chris. Even though there’s nothing inherently funny in someone else getting hurt, humans stash so much pain that it’s almost like a release as well as a relief.
If we really think about it, when life is crappy and we see or hear about something unfortunate happening to someone else, we get a (morbid) sense of satisfaction. But, when life’s good, we sympathize, empathize and even try to lend a hand.
That’s a great point that I hadn’t thought of Carolyn. We only slow down to stare after the rescue folks are on site doing their thing.
The overwhelming majority of us will stop and lend a hand if EMS isn’t there yet.
I didn’t mean to write what you read, Chris, but I like what you saw. It’s true. An unattended accident will elicit all kinds of citizen assistance. Then, once we know that help is on the scene, that scene becomes a curiosity.